Food Nostalgia

‘A sentimental longing for the past, triggered by particular food that evokes memories of people, places and emotions associated with it’

A personal journey into food and early childhood memories. I lost both parents at a young age, but this is not a sad story. I felt loved and held by both and carry them with me. I’m now lucky to be surrounded by my own family. I’ve been privileged in many ways. I try to be mindful and grateful for it all.

My mum, Jane, died in the 80s, so my dad, David, took on the main parental role. I was 6 and he was 60. I now have a greater appreciation of David’s experience of being the main caregiver since becoming a father myself. Whilst working on an exhibition exploring themes of loss and recovery, I saw an opportunity to realise some ideas that had been ruminating in the back of my mind for years. There are three mini-series in this project, The Burnt Collection, Smash and Say When…

The Burnt Collection

Dad was still trying to balance being an artist whilst being a single parent. He often took foods from the deep freeze and put them in the bottom oven to defrost. He would then go to paint and forget all about it. Days later we would discover the cremated offerings. Dad appreciated the qualities of these deceased foods and honoured his own failure by keeping them in a cupboard: it was proudly named ‘The Burnt Collection’. I decided to recreate some of this collection with foods which he liked to work on.

Smash

Central to these ideas are two bronze heads, one of dad and one of myself, made not long after mum died by Kenneth Carter, a celebrated sculptor and good friend to my dad. I decided to reanimate these heads by using key foods that evoke memories and emotions from that moment in my life.

Dad had barely cooked a meal in his life; it must have been daunting. And yet he did it – he learnt to cook, and we learnt with him. In those early days we ate a lot of convenience foods. One of his favourites back then was the instant mashed potato ‘Smash’.
David was often serious – he was an artist, a painter and a thinker – yet he was also cheeky, playful and silly too.
With all this in mind, I photographed the bust of him in a studio environment and buried it in Smash. Like David, it’s serious – it’s about his loss and recovery, and about my loss and recovery – but it’s also silly. It was fun and cathartic to make; the images still make me chuckle and I know they would him too.

Say When…

To reanimate the bust of my younger self I used three sweet treats from my childhood days. One of my early memories is making raspberry jelly with mum. She and I baked cakes and made jellies and treats together. Dark chocolate was dad’s favourite, and it still reminds me of him. Cream is for my aunt Pam. After mum died, we all moved to live on Pam’s dairy farm. I was a skinny boy, so Pam made it her mission to fatten me up. She used to load my bowl with homemade pudding and ice cream, topped with lashings of double cream from her Jersey cows, always uttering the words ‘say when…’.